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I kind of miss waking up at 3 am
because I had no choice
my biological clock was fucked
I kind of miss staying up late to cry all the time
nothing much has changed in the big scheme of things
I've just gotten tired
of being sad
being awake at bad hours
when I was 15 I wrote a song called, "I'm more tired than sad"
and I still think it can apply
except I've been sleeping so much I never wake up to see the sunrise
I talked about standardized tests but now they dont phase me
I talked about being depressed but now its leaving
for the moment
just for the moment
I used to wake up early to do yoga
cry in my bed sheets
draw pictures of things Id never be
I used to stay up late
make playlists Id later hate
I used to not eat
I used to not eat
I used to not eat
I used to but not me
but not me
but not me
but not me
but not me
but not me
but not me
what is me?

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Flower Politics Denver, Colorado

sometimes I want to give up, but I’m not done writing yet.

“audio journal 1997” out Summer 2023

fka: kill the intellectuals

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