I am not a Robot (Though I aim to be)

by Flower Politics

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about

"Foster’s music becomes more than just music, it’s rather a testament to smaller, subtler textures."

" it’s inspiring. People can feel so broken and with songs like 'Residual' and 'I’m Sorry I’m a Monster' we see Foster’s wounds wide open. But, despite being broken, there’s a will to go on, a will to keep writing."

"It’s very similar to early Bright Eyes in the way Conor’s subtle vocal inflections would reveal his explicit feelings on a song. Foster says how she feels in the most direct way possible, so much so she’s able to make us feel her feelings too."
- Jorge Velez (of Personality Disorders) @ Funeral Sounds


New and old songs written over the span of the past year. Not a whole lot of padding. Just a lot of emotions.

Frequently asked question: "Is this a concept album?"
It is whatever the hell you want it to be.

(a really serious album written by a really serious person who needs to stop being so serious and maybe a little less neurotic wow spellcheck tried to change that to "erotic")
...
awkward.
Stop laughing at me

credits

released March 5, 2014

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Flower Politics Houston, Texas

lofi feelings

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Track Name: Space Time Continuum Gap
every year I feel more like I'm being distanced from my actual soul
the parks and streets and doors they pull and they pull
Maybe it's unfair to say that I am half awake
maybe I am terrified of what you'll do to me if I'm not
I have walked so many islands I cannot ignore
I have picked so many people up and dragged them on the floor
I have been to the market here and back
I know there's no distance in the space time continuum gap
maybe this is just exactly who we are
maybe we should stop stealing bricks from houses and throwing them at cars
on the sad, sad lonely lonely ephemeral streets,
I'd die by your hand if you'd die by me
I'd die by your sword if you'd die by continuity
We've only got like 40 more years
before we risk the chance of ceasing too exist
the ocean is just to vast to commit
I just can't stand the sound of this fucking shit
I'll nibble your flesh and swallow every bit
just promise me you'll stay tender and bright
I'll see you in the next fucking life
Maybe it's unfair to say that I am half awake
I am just so terrified of what you'll say
I have walked so many islands I cannot ignore
I have picked people up and I have dragged them on the floor
(Outro)
Track Name: Residual
I'm sorry about your holes
you know I have mine too
in my shirt and in the bottom of my shoes
I'm sorry about your heartache
I know it's vestigial, residual
mine is too
I never could figure out how I felt or get myself to think about
finishing for that matter
so here's page 11 of my life
you're cutting all your hair off
you're cutting everyone off
just trying to be something you can crawl into and hide
you're fighting all your demons
you're donating your organs
everyday is just a day that you're not dead
Please tell me what's in your head
when you close your eyes you see something
and it's not me
I'm sorry about your holes
you know I have mine too
in my shirt and the bottom of the soles of my shoes
I'm sorry about your headache
I know it's vestigial, residual
I never could figure out how I felt
or get myself to think about
finishing for that matter
so here's page 11 of my story
of my fucking diary
you're pulling your brains out
you're cutting off your limbs
you're trying to crawl into something you can
Track Name: Shaky Hands
Oh I don't have metaphors to describe your eyes
Oh I don't have similes to say what you mean to me
I am not the one who can put you into a box
and tell you what you are
but you emit the energy that makes me really really really
walking in circles
checking myself
am I me or am I just somebody else?
Is this temporary?
It's hit me so hard
It was so slow then all at once
If I write a song and title it, "my pain"
would that make me any more artistic or just vain?
I am sorry that I am so honest sometimes
I've tried and I've tried to hide
And I am so weird
and hung up on things that
things that strange like me
and the sunset
and it takes just five seconds to change
if I wonder if you feel that way
and life is just so fast
and so long
and so short all in one
I can't go outside without wondering if you've seen these clouds today
But I guess I need to tone down my honesty
Ouch my ego is burnt
my arms are bent
in praying position
sitting in the lotus one too
I'm thinking about the stars and what they mean to me
tell me what they mean to you
your mind is so vast
it's a computer
but it can't compact the feelings that you ignore
I'm sorry I'm so honest
When you say it doesn't matter
are you being objective?
My feelings are still in the golf ball hole
I'm sorry that I'm so confused
It's just that I don't have metaphors for you
Track Name: A Small List of Things I Am Sure of
Love is open heart surgery and I'm afraid of drowning in my own blood
Here's a small list of things that I am sure of
Track Name: Did Someone Dispose of a Dead Body in my Coffee?
They never said that sleep was a necessity
until the standardized tests when they went and woke me
from my daysleep and told me go to bed
they never said I should rest until those standardized tests
I'm more tired than sad
and I just keep stopping
and dropping
and rolling on
on
on
Some things were built to withstand
when the cold front comes through
but some things were built to crumble and break
and no one ever said failure was an option
or something to be content with
I'm more tired than sad
and the thunderclouds keep on rolling in
and some things were built to withstand
But I keep understanding
less than I know
Track Name: Amphibian
we're cold hearted but we adapt
we're just vultures fighting for flesh
but we're never full
fuck you Web MD for making me feel like I have cancer
Fuck you morals for making me a monster
I can be pure
I can whole
but for now I'm just trying to be enough
to hold
when it gets cold
and the wind is so violent
like you
like me
we're all so empty
isn't it kind of funny
that when our smiles are pulled apart we're all so dark
isn't it kind of funny when our smiles
are pulled
apart
we're all so dark
Help I've got tunnel vision again
we're cold hearted but we adapt
we're just vultures fighting for flesh
but never full
fuck you Web MD
for making me feel like I have cancer
Track Name: House on the Hill
we all learn to live and let go
live and let
so slow
we all learn
to live and let
to live and let
so slow
the house
on the hill
its broken dreams
were never me
the house on the hill
was never so still
as when I walked away
he house on the hill
house on
so live and let
live and let
live and let
Track Name: You Should've Been a Psychologist
you can take the road less traveled by
that's fine by me
but they both end in the same rut of death
you can wear all your clothes inside out
and bake pies all the time
that's fine too
you can stay home and cry
watch sitcoms to pass the time

all we are is empty space
all we are is empty space

but that's fine too

all we are is empty space
all we are is empty space

but that's fine too

remember dancing in the cold
kicking all the snow
breathing sharply when
you scraped your knees back then
a cry from in the dark
a seamless art of forgetting to remember

all we are is empty space
all we are empty space

but that's fine too

all we are is empty space
all we are is empty space

well that's fine too
Track Name: I'm Sorry I'm a Monster
If I took up any more space
you'd be suffocated
if I said anymore
you'd be pinned to the door
But I don't physically occupy
I'm glad I'm nothing more than a fucking lullaby
If I had any more than what I have to offer
you'd be pinned to the floorboards
I don't like that all
I'm sorry that I am even trying
I'm sorry that when I don't, I ruin everything
I guess I'm glad I don't take up all your days in your face
but if I did, I would be more apologetic
and I'm sorry I hate
and I'm sorry that I love
and I'm sorry I am here
trying all of the above
I'm sorry that you dislike what I do
I guess I'd fucking hate me too
The vines are so beautiful
but they kill everything they wrap themselves around
Track Name: Laws of Congruence
we were the ones silently awaiting the sun
but it's not fair that it's not there
I wrote you a letter
that I made sense of but I was merely dreaming
metaphor
quite literal
both answers different but equal nonetheless
laws of congruence
like earthquakes in my head
every response like a fracture in the ocean
let's pull off our limbs and build a home out of it
we were the ones
silently awaiting the sun
but it's not fair
Track Name: Is That a Shark Or Your Father
you were born in an incubator
your eyes were filled with fear and hope
your name was decided last minute
then the doctors sent you home
you rode your bike into a wall
kneepads protected your skin
but somehow the bruises still win
we all want to park where the law won't permit
we all want to dance when it's inappropriate
we all look back and feel regret

we all walk into the storm before we're ready
"you'll all be fine as long as you have money and a PHD"
when you're dying remember what I said
you can't always fight what's in your head
so dye your hair a different colour and rejoice
and walk out into the world with the air conditioner
running through your hair

It's all the same with different roadsigns
But just don't let them pass you by